Thoughts that needed to come out

The time is 5:09 AM and I have a load of thoughts on my mind that I know is keeping me from sleeping. Up until this point I seriously have considered making internet based statements on debatable topics to be a useless waste of time and energy. Yet seeing as these thoughts are preventing me from resting properly, I have reached a conundrum. I could let this thought fester and not sleep or I could just say it all and just think to myself "Haters gonna Hate" and "Douchers gonna Douche". I pick the latter. I want to sleep tonight.

This thought has been circulating through my head and has caused me immense frustration as I think about my old self and my old highschool friends. I'm going to be talking about drugs right now, and it will be the topic of the discussion for this whole entry. Some of you may not like what I am about to say. Please know that I write this because I firmly believe in the importance of what I am about to write.

I'm just going to lay it on the line right now with a blunt and concise thesis statement:

Drugs are a deceiving and lame pastime for people who are just as mature as the average high schooler.

Now I know what some of you may be thinking. If you knew me from high school and don't talk to me much nowadays, you're probably thinking, "Ben! But I knew you in high school. YOU used to be a total stoner and we even got high together!" And that is true. I lived that way for quite some time and I must confess that I was a bored and lonely little boy with no security in who I was. I smoked weed and used hallucinogenic drugs because I wanted to escape from being me. I wanted freedom from my problems. For the record, I'm over a year and a half sober.

Now if you didn't know me in high school, yet you smoke weed or experiment with other drugs, you may be thinking something along the lines of, "Pardon me, kind sir, but in my experience and
interactions with others, I have found that the use of cannabis or LySergic acid Diethylamide to be spiritually enlightening and beneficial. Wouldn't it be unfair to make such a broad statement about those, who use said substances to better themselves?"

My response to that statement is that, although I have heard that statement hundreds of times and would consider giving it some merit, an argument such as that is actually true and relevant about 1% of the time. The general mindset that I get, especially from people still in high school or who have graduated recently, doesn't seem to be concerned with bettering ones spirit or soul. How most of them feel and act is with a rousing chorus of,

If the whole "spiritual enlightenment" argument really held true with the countless users that I have met and associated with, they would treat the experience with reverence and dignity rather than recount the story of how they ate a pound of cheese and 2 whole sleeves of "Chips Ahoy!" because their munchies were so intense. Bare in mind that I am still open to the concept that there are spiritual applications of mind altering drugs in certain meditations, religious rituals etc. However, I find it hard to believe that every, if there is even one, person I've met uses drugs for reasons that go beyond the sole purpose of getting high/having fun or escaping whatever it is that is bothering them.

I'm not making any political or moral statements about how drugs are bad or are illegal. I'm not going there because it is clear to every person who is reading this what their views on the whole situation already is and my purpose isn't to change minds.

So let me briefly recap my thesis and my two points,
Thesis: Drugs are an idiotically deceiving and lame pastime for people who are mature enough to still be in high school.

Point 1. I have spent extended periods of my life on drugs. I know from experience and my personal encounters with others, that drugs will and are most often used to escape boredom or unhappiness in an attempt to find something better. I know this isn't that strong of a point, but its early in the morning and I just want to get the point across that I'm not here to wag my finger at the reader and talk about stuff that I have no experience with.

Point 2. Although it can be argued that cannabis etc. can be used for spiritual growth and experiences, they are, more often than not, abused for simple carnal pleasures which will be recounted to ones friends with the opening statement "I was so high. I don't even..." I have heard this story a million times and until I can find someone that in all honesty tells me that they use herb or any other drug on a semi-regular basis as a medium of self-discovery and meditation, I will find respect and relevance for such a presently weak argument.

So here we are. I've given you some reasons that may offer some clear merit to my thesis. In case you are heading down that trail which I have already "blazed" (pun intended, i guess)
or have been walking that way for quite I while, I want to tell you something that is extremely important to me. I really don't mean to come off as pretentious or "high and mighty" because I am all too familiar with my weaknesses and my imperfections. I'm writing this because I am passionate about the happiness of others. I love my friends and I genuinly care for everyones safety and happiness. The world already feels far too small and lonely for most of us, but when you begin to rely on mind altering drugs to shake things up, you WILL be blinded to the side effects, because you are too high as a kite to see them. You lose friends. You lose self-respect. You lose interesting things to talk about. Your grades will drop. You are risking legal repercussions. You will find that you know less about who you are than ever before. You will find yourself in places that are lower than you ever thought you would allow yourself to go. Your world will become smaller if you can't exercise control. You will eventually feel trapped.

I can't stop anyone from using, and I won't try to because its only up to you. Just know that I warned you because I care. Make sure that you are a master of your life and you have the power to make it better. Don't let someone else think for you. You are wonderful and I love you. I want you to be happy, and I know that everyone else wants to be happy too. Finding happiness is not nearly as difficult when you rely on your unaltered state of consciousness and lean on your friends for guidance. I love my family and I love my friends. Please be safe. I do not regret writing such a bold statement

Behind the Monster Mask

I've been a total failure as a blogger for the last month and a half. I did the exact opposite of what I promised I would do which was to keep this blog up to date. Well to make a long story short when it comes to how the rest of my summer went, I moved to Richmond for the remainder of my summer selling insulation and did very well. Overall I would say that my experience with Rocky Mountain Insulation this summer has been a good learning experience and profitable in some ways. At any rate, I'm back at school in Southern Virginia University and I couldn't be happier. I honestly feel like school is definitely the place for me to be, and if I could accumulate enough scholarships by some act of god, I would be ecstatic at the idea of being a student for the rest of my life. Its nice to be back home in Buena Vista and I'm finding for the first time in months that my creative mind doesn't feel completely starved and desperate to come out and do something productive. This truly is a miracle to me simply because my last semester was almost torture just because I wanted so badly to do something with my talents in music.

I feel that what held me back so much last semester was simply my inability to put aside time for myself, which I really regret. I never gave myself any time to be dedicated to a moment of pure productivity. Since I have returned to SVU I have finally decided to really grab every moment by the balls and use it to my advantage to enjoy my life, have fun and think creatively. I'm not afraid to make an idiot out of myself because I'm so excited that I'm learning and progressing, and now, as of this past friday, I have freed my mind of the awful spell known as "writers block".

Fridays are my easiest days with the fewest classes and so as soon as my classes were over, I decided that I was going to go back to my room as soon as class was over and to start up a new Progressive House track on Ableton Live. I went to my computer and threw down some beats and began to plunk out the skeleton of a brand new track. I took the advice of my art teacher and bishop Professor Himes. He told me that it was incredibly important that when producing any piece of art, no matter what medium you are using, that you must produce it only with the intent to do your best and make progress. I stopped trying to make masterpieces and instead focused on finishing a track that I could live with. Once I got the basic parts of my song down on the track, inspiration struck me so hard and blew my mind into meaty splatters ALL OVER MY MUSIC. I spent five continuous hours staring at my computer like a deer in headlights and worked feverishly and created my very first inspired electronic dance track without the help of Dave; and get this, I actually kinda like it; and to my utter amazement and joy, I've recieved a lot of genuinely positive feedback on it. This is really big for me. I usually need dave to write any music that I would consider good enough to share with someone. The fact that I was actually able to independently produce something that I could be proud of myself is huge. Nothing could make me more happy when I kept having people approach me to tell me that they really liked my song. I just want everyone to know that for the first time in months I feel proud of something original that I have made, and it's more than likely that their is more to come. I don't really write these blogs with the intent of a having a moral at the end of my long stories, however, I think its important that I stress the importance of one finding time for their self. Always find time do the one thing that you are passionate about. I love everyone and I thank everyone for their kind words and encouragement. It would be amazing if anyone would share my song with anyone that they feel may enjoy it. Thanks for reading.

Link to my most recent song "Behind the Monster Mask" below.

Behind The Monster Mask by Ben Stoneking

oh the places you'll go

So my life as I know it has become unpredictable in ways that I could never imagine. I've been up in Washington for the last few months, and last week I find out that the office that I'm working at is closing up and relocating to Petersburg, Virginia. Crazy stuff am I right? I'm currently in california as I write this, and I will be leaving for Virginia just next week, and I will be spending the rest of my summer there before returning to Southern Virginia University. At the start of next year, I will be departing on a two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

All of this change is making me feel like freaking Indiana Jones; I'm just feeling plain old adventurous. Its really crazy once you finally leave you home and you see all the cool stuff that you, your peers, your friends and all your family members are doing. Its amazing how doors have really seemed to open up and make things that seemed impossible only a year ago within reach.

Everyone is so awesome. I love seeing how everyone is growing up, changing, learning and doing things that are just epic. Tell me about all the places that you guys are going and the cool things that you're doing. Subscribe when you are done!

the alien has landed?

Well, I'm sitting alone in my room and I know that its time for me to make another post. I hope to keep this up as long as I can and not get into the habit of forgetting to post for months at a time and posting sporadically throughout the year. We are just about to reach the last week of June. Its a really special time of the year for me, because the second of July is my year anniversary of the day that I discovered truth in my christian faith and made some of the most difficult and important decisions of my life.

I didn't realize this until I started seeing pictures of some of my friends as EFY counselors pop up on good ol' EffBook. I didn't really think much more than, "i'm jelly. I wish I was there right now." To tell you the truth, I didn't realize it had been a year until started looking for things that I could blog about...

So anyways, exactly a year ago, I lived a completely different life with completely different values and was a completely different person... and I was a loser. I was a very lost kid who had nothing more than a small handfull of delusions about what it meant to be a responsible adult. Long story short, I was a basket case, teenage ball of angst. I used to party out as an epic Charlie Sheen teen druggie psycho screw-off jack-hole. Luckily for me my parents and friends were able bring me to my senses with a good ole' intervention and a change of scenery. So I was alive a sober, which was really great, but I wasn't much of a happy camper and I definitely lacked faith in the world and in higher power. I thought I knew everything.

Enter Dave Supplee: Best Friend, brother-in-law and music virtuoso.
I leave my home in California for some brotherly bonding, music, dancing and bantering with beautiful young women at EFY (by the way, EFY stands for Especially For Youth, for all those who are confused... Its mormon summer camp). Reuniting with my best friend never felt better, for I had always looked up to Dave for his kindness and outgoing temperament. We quickly embarked on an unforgettably epic summertime journey and made our way to Southern Virginia University for our week at EFY.

Enter Ottehenning Twins: Beautiful twin girls whom Dave and I both had(have) a soft spot for, talented fashion designers, hipster chicks.
We knew them from the year before, and drooling over them was definitely not a new pastime for Dave and me. We wrote them a beautiful ballad and asked them to the dance through the transcendent art of lyrical dynamics. Both of these girls were and are extremely spiritual and smart, and remain to be among my closest and most respected and cherished friends. Their presence had made the biggest impact on my life over the course of five days, and I didn't even realize it until my life had already begun to change.

The only big decision that I had ever made for myself in my life was my decision to stay sober. Aside from that, my life was a mess and I was completely lost in darkness, haunted by the bad decisions of my past and the problems of my present, and I was frightened by an uncertain future that was lacking control. I had absolutely no faith in the world or in any higher being (god) and didn't plan on becoming spiritually active in the slightest, but words of the counselors, the scriptures, the Twins and the good friends that surrounded me had somehow reached me on such a deep and real level. I didn't understand the spiritual impact that it had made on me until at the end of the week, the tears were sliding down my face as I felt my tattered and tortured soul embraced by the loving arms of my creator. An undeniable moment of epiphany left me thunderstruck and without any choice but to stop the discordance of my life and take charge. This was the most difficult decision I had made yet, it was such a humbling experience. I lived a life that was contrary in every way to the teachings of the Mormon faith for an entire year. It was such a shocking change for me and I think it was an answer to the prayers of my family and close friends.

That event was the starting link of a chain reaction of extraordinary events in my life. I graduated early from high school, attended my first semester of college at Southern Virginia University and I got my current job in Washington. Of course this may seem pretty ordinary and not even note-worthy, but I have grown more in the last year than I had in the 18 years that I have been alive. I'm so happy that I have the opportunity to celebrate my first year since I began to truly live out my life. I'm thankful for all of the friends that I have made that still love and care for me. I'm so thankful for all my family. Most of all I am thankful for my God and for the power of change.

Amazing vintage threads by the twins <---- Click Here

My life doesn't suck and neither does my job

For anyone who doesn't know, I currently live in Vancouver, Washington. I'm working full time as a sales associate at Rocky Mountain Insulation. The last couple of blog posts that I have made have all had to do with motivation and success, and really the reason for me writing those things was for two reasons: because I believe in those words and because I needed to encourage myself. Knocking on peoples doors and trying to show them that I am there to help, is one of the most difficult things that I have ever experienced in my life. I have had my heart broken countless times in the last couple weeks. My sweat and tears have certainly been the number one ingredients to my progression at this job. I have held my ground and refused to give up, because I knew that it would make me stronger. I even had people who I met while knocking doors tell me that I should try to find a different job. Well, last week, I went to work on monday feeling like a walking ghost. I had absolutely no money and no sales. I made the decision that I would not leave the doors until I finally got a sale. I had to psyche myself up for about half an hour to make myself truly believe that I could actually do it. Long story short, I knocked all day long, past quitting time. I kept knocking, because I still hadn't gotten my sale. At 8:30 in the evening, I knocked on literally my final door for the day... and I sold the guy. I spent the whole day fighting and finally got a sale, and I felt the most liberating sensation in my life. I got another one the next day, and the day after that, I got two. After weeks of failure and heartache, I finally discovered that I can do this job. I'm good at it and it certainly does not suck. My life as I currently know it is good. It certainly isn't perfect and I have a really long way to go when it comes to becoming a better person, but I find it comforting to know that I can change and progress forward.

The Absolute

Its about time that I say something very important, and I hope that this message will be shared and passed around so many people can see it. Listen, or rather, read very carefully, because I'm talking to everyone. You will never hear me shut up on this subject, and I will not apologize for that. Within every person exists infinite potential. Everything that has ever been done since before your birth can be done again and again by anyone who has the guts to do it. We are all born and blessed with bodies that are capable of carrying out the microscopic tasks that fall into place and bring the great things to pass. Every amazing thing that has been done by our ancestors is within your realm possibility if you are willing to put everything you have into making it happen. There is never enough time in the day, so I suggest that you live today as if it is your last. Do I believe that anyone can make any achievement and even break new ground in the advancement of humanity?
Absolutely.

Sacrifices?

Well, lately my life consists of eating, sleeping, working and gathering my ammunition for future raging hyper active dance parties. Work consumes so much of my life, and that doesn't really bother me because its all part of my plan.

1. Get money
2. Pay for school
3. Mission for the LDS Church
4. Become successful in the music industry with Dave Supplee (my brother in law)

I've been thinking a lot lately... and listening. I listen to the works that these great musical artists are putting out. I've especially been listening/studying the mixes that deadmau5 and all the other artists at mau5trap records have been putting out. They just blow my mind, the complexities and intricacies of these compositions really make these pieces really stand out. The interesting thing is that they are only done by one person. Dave and I work together with all our music, and when it comes to music and the combinations of ideas to produce a killer creation, 2 minds are always better than one. We have such potential together. We work together so well. Last summer, while we were still in our extremely early amateur level, we produced 8 completely recorded creations in 7 days (which weren't half bad). Dave is a couple steps ahead of me, and I look on him with jealousy sometimes for all the great things that he has already done and I long to be like him; but with that aside, the more I think, the more I realize that we have all the tools necessary for us to produce killer beats, and hot bassy beatdowns. The things that stand between me and progress in the fields that I wish to move forward in is making time for it. I have to sacrifice.

The man that I met the other day that was close friends with Og Mandino related to me the importance of making whatever goal that I had be the only thing that I dream about; and it really is crucial. I'm not ever going to get any younger, and if I am supposed make great achievements, I have to do it now when I don't have any obligations and responsibilities to hold me back, because when the time comes that I'm supposed to support and take care of my family, I better be ready to go in it with everything I got. For now, I will dream only of my successes to be made in the future.

With that said, I think its time that I step up my game and start doing some serious writing, mixing and studying. Which matters more: A social life, or making a seemingly impossible dream come into reality? Some may have chosen the first as more important. As for me, I will pick the latter to take precedence. Don't worry though, its not like I'm going to live the rest of my young life as a mau5y hermit. I'll still take time to go out and have fun with friends... but more importantly, I'll be throwing down tasty tracks, swanky grade-A dance parties and also recording the music that more accurately shows the world who I am.

"Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough."
-Og Mandino

So thats the story.

-Benjamin